


losing me (is better than losing you)

by vminsungies



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, They're all precious, and deserve love, but still very much in love, but they're in love with other people lol, hyunjin is the best bye, hyunjin is tired, jaemin and jisung briefly date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27548011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vminsungies/pseuds/vminsungies
Summary: "Minho asked about you," Hyunjin said carefully."So?""He misses you, Jisung."Or, Jisung and Minho are exes, Hyunjin is just trying to make everything right, and Jisung can't get his song right.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 16
Kudos: 318





	losing me (is better than losing you)

**Author's Note:**

> title from Wonho's "Losing You"

Hyunjin barged unceremoniously into their shared dorm, throwing his duffel bag from dance practice on the floor next to the table and draping himself across Jisung’s lap on the couch. Jisung paid him no attention, one side of his headphones pulled over his ears, the other behind his head so he could still hear his surroundings. He was frowning at his laptop. There had been a melody stuck in his head–a sad tune with a slow beat–but he couldn’t seem to find the perfect words to fit it. 

Hyunjin stared at him, obviously waiting for Jisung to at least return a glance, but when his best friend remained still and silent, Hyunjin sighed loudly, dramatically.

Still, nothing. 

Pouting, Hyunjin tried again. He reached up and poked at Jisung’s cheeks. “Jisung,” he whined. “Pay attention to me.”

“I’m busy,” Jisung muttered back. 

“It does speak!” Hyunjin exclaimed with an overdramatic gasp, continuing to poke at Jisung’s cheek until the other boy swiped his hand away like an annoying fly. 

Jisung let out a long groan, shutting his laptop and pulling his headphones from his head. It wasn’t like he was actually making any progress, anyways. He looked down at his best friend, whose head was still resting in his lap, long blonde hair spread out over his legs. “What do you want?” 

Hyunjin blinked back up at him innocently. “I just got back from dance practice...” he began, his voice heavy with implication. 

Jisung froze, his facial expression morphing into a glare, ignoring the way those words sent a flare through him, his heart twisting painfully as his stomach fluttered. “And?” he asked. 

Hyunjin bit his lip, suddenly nervous. He flickered his eyes away from Jisung’s when he spoke once again. “I talked to Minho-hyung.”

Purposefully schooling his features into a careful nonchalance, Jisung turned his head. “So? You have practice with him everyday, of course you talk to him.”  
  
“He asked about you,” Hyunjin said, voice soft like he was afraid the volume was what would break Jisung. 

Jisung squeezed his eyes shut tight, fighting the urge to scream or cry or puke. He wished Hyunjin would just let it be, it was hard enough already without his best friend and roommate constantly bringing it up. “I don’t care, Hyunjin,” he finally responded, tone so perfectly bored and dry there was no way it was anything other than fake. 

When Jisung allowed himself to look back into his best friend’s eyes, they were sad. Deeply so. “Jisung,” he began, using that same careful whisper that made Jisung want to hit him. “He...he asked how you were doing.” 

Jisung grit his teeth. Minho had no right to ask about him, not after everything he did. “So?” Something heavy and uncomfortable settled in his gut. Did Hyunjin tell him?

“He misses you,” Hyunjin breathed, like saying it louder would be more of a betrayal to Minho’s trust, like it would push Jisung over the edge–one he’d been wobbling on far too long. 

Jisung hadn’t missed how Hyunjin had been treading carefully around him for the past month. Always asking him if he wanted water, how his music was coming along, _how he was doing_. That was the worst. Jisung kind of just wished Hyunjin would pretend like it had never happened. But here he was, trying to–actually, Jisung didn’t know what he was trying to do. 

Jisung stared across the room, at the blank wall hanging over there small dining room table. “Did you tell him?” He didn’t want to say that, but it felt like the words weren’t his own, like they hadn’t just fallen from his mouth. He felt like he was across the room, at the table, watching himself fall apart all over again. 

Hyunjin tensed, and Jisung could feel the way he was looking at him. Could feel that his expression was full of sadness for him. “Yeah,” he answered, giving no other explanation, and Jisung couldn’t tell if he was grateful for that or a little disappointed. 

Jisung breathed out slowly, nodding. 

///

Minho broke up with him a month ago. He showed up at his door, expression somber and so, so sad and Jisung had instantly known something was wrong. 

He didn’t remember much of what happened after that. Not exactly, anyways. Minho had told him that he thought they should break up, and he hadn’t even been able to meet his eyes. Minho had told him that he thought it was best, and when Jisung begged for an explanation, he went quiet. Then he left and Jisung had to watch the love of his life walk out of it. 

Jisung cried. 

Minho didn’t. 

///

Jisung laid in bed that night, staring way too long at his ceiling. His thoughts were a mess. 

So Hyunjin had told Minho that Jisung was seeing someone. A part of Jisung was glad the older knew, another part of him–deeper, meaner–hoped it was tearing him apart. But then Jisung pictured what he looked like when he was sad, like that time his cat was really sick and the vet wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Jisung held him that entire night, telling him it was okay. The look in his eyes then was still ingrained in his memory, and, as hurt as Jisung was–as much as he didn’t want to be the only one hurting–he ached at the thought of Minho feeling like that again. 

Jisung had only really gone on one date with the new guy. He was sweet and funny and had the best smile, and Jisung’s heart should’ve been fluttering. But all he could think about was how _Minho_ would make him food when he felt sick, or how he was always the first one to make him laugh, or how his smile was the only one Jisung needed to see. 

He told himself it was too soon. That maybe he could develop feelings. The boy really was all Jisung could ask for, but he still felt nothing except guilt. Still, Jisung agreed to go out on another date with him, and was rewarded with a blinding smile that made Jisung’s heart cry. 

///

“You don’t _look_ happy,” Hyunjin grumbled into his ramen bowl. It was almost one in the morning, and sleep was pulling heavily at both of their eyes, but Hyunjin insisted they eat before they go to bed. The comment caught Jisung off-guard, and he wondered if it was the early morning and the exhaustion making him so loose-lipped. 

Jisung blinked at him, expression blank. “I’m fine, Hyunjinnie.”

This only made his best friend’s face contort into a face of concern, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but Jisung cut him off by standing abruptly from his chair and dumping his bowl in the sink. 

“I’m tired. Goodnight,” he said blandly. 

Hyunjin stood up, desperate, calling after him, “I’m just trying to help, Sungie. I’m worried about you.”

Jisung rounded on him, hating the fact that his eyes were burning and blaming it on the lack of sleep. “You want to help? Then leave me the fuck alone.”

///

Jisung stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him, mouth open and heart hurting so bad he thought he might pass out. 

Jaemin had been in the middle of a story when he noticed that Jisung was no longer walking with him. The story had been funny–Jisung was laughing, but the smile had dropped off his face. 

The last time Jisung had seen Minho– _really_ seen Minho, not just through old pictures on his phone or his friend’s social media updates–was when the older walked out of his door. He didn’t even look back once. 

His breathing was shaky, and he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off Minho. It had been so long. The older boy looked tired, holding a coffee and wearing sweats and a hoodie. Jisung wondered which class he was on his way to, and then realized that he used to know Minho’s schedule. He used to know everything about Minho, but now, he felt like a stranger. 

No, that wasn’t right, either. He wasn’t a stranger. He couldn’t be, not when Jisung knew the shape of his lips and his laugh after midnight. Not when he’d seen him in the morning, when they first woke up, and he was the only one who knew that he still sometimes slept with a stuffed animal. 

Jisung knew the boy he fell in love with like he knew his own heartbeat, but the boy who walked out on him–the one who looked so, so tired–he was a mystery. 

“Are you alright, Jisung?” 

Jisung was ripped out of his thoughts, and he regretfully tore his eyes away from Minho to look at Jaemin. He tried to force a smile. “I’m okay,” he reassured him. 

Still, Jaemin’s brow furrowed in concern, and he leaned in to rest a hand on his shoulder, then ran the hand down his arm soothingly. “Are you sure? We can sit down if you need to–”

“No, it’s–it’s okay,” Jisung repeated, his smile becoming more tight and painful. “Let’s just get back to the dorms, yeah?”

With one last questioning look, Jaemin nodded, and they continued. 

Jisung dared to look up as they continued, and his heart stuttered when he realized Minho was already looking back at him, and he was heading their way. Jisung held his breath, waiting for him to say something– _anything_ –but Minho passed by them, gaze fixed back on the ground carefully. 

The only thing Jisung heard was the slight inhalation of breath from Minho as they passed each other–so close, but so far. 

Jisung felt his eyes tear up, but he ignored them, pushing them back. He tuned back into Jaemin’s story, meticulously reacting the way he should, laughing here and there like he was still present in the conversation, not far, far away. 

///

In Jisung’s mind, there was nothing more frustrating that an unfinished song. Especially when the words, the emotions, and everything he needed to say were _right there_ in his mind. But he was working with a blank canvas and a broken heart, and his song was out of reach. 

He glared at his laptop, willing it to come to him. 

It was a long, long time later that he understood why he couldn’t write it. Of course his song was about Minho. What wasn’t? 

He shut his laptop and pushed it away, burrowing his head into his arms. 

///

“You were right,” Jisung admitted, staring down at his hands sadly. 

It was a random thought, they were in the space between episodes of an anime, the silence short, and maybe Jisung thought if he said it quickly, Hyunjin would ignore it in favor of the next episode. Instead, he leaned forward and paused the laptop, turning to face him. “About what?” he asked carefully. 

Jisung pulled his knees into his chest, tucking his chin into them to make himself as small as possible. He shrugged, not looking at him. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin prompted. “What’s going on?”

“Just–you were right,” Jisung repeated, his voice wavering. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and Hyunjin, sensing that Jisung wasn’t done talking, remained quiet. Jisung took a deep breath. “About Minho. About dating Jaemin. About everything.”

“Sungie?” Hyunjin said, confused. 

The first of tears came out of Jisung’s eyes, and he turned his head so Hyunjin wouldn’t see it. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I told you to stay out of it–to l-leave me alone.” By the time he’d finished his sentence, he was sobbing, and Hyunjin quickly pulled him into a hug, hushing him as he played with his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung repeated, and he didn’t know what he was apologizing for anymore. “I’m _not_ happy. I’m sorry.”

“I know, Sungie. I know.”

///

Jisung stood up and cheered, clapping and smiling with the whole audience. He felt so proud and full–better than he had in a long time. 

Hyunjin put on an amazing performance. Jisung had known his best friend had a solo in this showcase, but he was shocked by how perfect it was. 

He was proud of Jaemin, too. His dance team performed an upbeat song, all exchanging excited looks when Jaemin wrapped his arms around them at the end.

And Minho, too. He came to this showcase for Hyunjin and Jaemin, but he wasn’t able to help the heavy feeling in his chest knowing that Minho would be performing as well. He was kind of surprised that the older didn’t have a solo, and he wondered if he was just busy. Still, he’d been center in much of his team’s performance, flanked by Hyunjin and Felix. Jisung had made sure to keep his eyes on his other two friends, not allowing himself the pain of looking at Minho. 

It was stupid. To think that Jisung couldn’t do things he’d always done because it hurt, because it was so painful. So he didn’t let himself think about it. He did let himself stand and shout for Hyunjin and feel good about something for once. 

He met Hyunjin outside of the auditorium, grinning as he grabbed his best friend’s arms. “You were amazing!” he exclaimed. 

“Don’t act so surprised, asshole,” Hyunjin replied, but he was beaming back at him. He looked hesitant for a moment, and Jisung gave him a curious look. “Hey, Jisung, the team and I were going to go out fo–”

“Jisungie, you came!” 

That call was his only warning before a tall body flung itself at his back, and Jisung stumbled, quickly reaching behind him to steady the both of them. “Jaemin!” he scolded, but he was laughing. “Do you realize how much taller than me you are?”

Jaemin was still giggling, pulling back only to hug him properly from the front. “Oh!” he said, as if he suddenly remembered something. “I want you to meet somebody! This is Jeno, my best friend.” Jaemin gestured to the boy standing next to him, shifting uncomfortably on his feet and giving Jaemin a half-hearted smile. 

Jisung’s smile curled into a smirk. “Hi! I’ve heard so much about you,” he said, grinning. 

Jeno nodded a little, finally meeting his eyes. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

Jaemin beamed at them both. “Isn’t he cute, Jeno-yah,” he said, eyes wide and pout prominent as he reached forward to squeeze Jisung’s cheek. 

Jeno shot him a pained look. “Ah, Mark’s waiting for us–”

Jaemin’s eyes lit up. “Jisung you should come to dinner with us!” he said excitedly. “If you don’t have any other plans of course.”

“Actually I think–” Jisung cut himself off as he turned around, realizing Hyunjin was long gone. For some reason, Jisung felt disappointment settle in him. If he’d gone to dinner with them–would he have seen Minho? Maybe it was for the best he didn’t. He gave Jaemin an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just going to head home and get a jump start on a paper that’s due soon.”

Nodding understandably, Jaemin gave him a quick hug. “Alright, get home safe, okay?”

“Yeah. Congratulations, by the way. You guys were amazing.”

///

“He was really glad you came to the showcase,” Hyunjin said casually that night as he settled on the couch next to Jisung. 

“Oh.”

Hyunjin sighed. “I wish you’d have come to dinner with us.”

“You left before I could,” Jisung replied, shrugging. Thinking back on it, he doubted he would’ve gone anyways. 

“Sorry,” Hyunjin apologized, like he knew. 

///

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin muttered, staring at the hot cup of coffee between his hands. “I mean, I know we weren’t serious but–”

Jisung shook his head. “No, you have nothing to apologize for,” he assured him. “I think we both knew that this was more platonic than anything,” he added, causing both of them to let out relieved laughs. 

“I kind of got the feeling that you didn’t really have feelings for me,” Jaemin said. “It’s Minho, isn’t it? Your ex?” His voice was sympathetic, gentle, and Jisung felt comfortable knowing he didn’t really have to answer if he didn’t want to. 

“I’m–” Jisung sighed. “I loved him.” He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to love again. I can’t imagine starting all over again.”

“Just promise me you’ll love yourself first, okay, Jisungie?” Jaemin asked, genuine care on his face, and Jisung knew in that moment that he had a lifelong friend. 

Jisung didn’t answer with anything but a small smile, before changing the subject. “So what brought _you_ to this realization? ‘Jeno-yah’?” he questioned copying the way Jaemin had said it a couple of nights ago and giggling. Jaemin went bright red and started stuttering. 

///

Jisung got back to his dorm earlier than he thought he would, in a good mood. Jaemin and he had talked for a while then departed (because Jaemin was excited to get back to Jeno, but Jisung wouldn’t judge him for it). 

Jisung shut the door behind him, setting his keys on the side table, and called out. “Hyunjinnie! I’m back!”

There was a loud crashing sound in the kitchen, then, nervously, “I thought you were staying out later?”

Jisung frowned, which quickly turned into a smirk as he walked up the hallway. “Why? Got someone ove–oh.”

Minho was standing in his kitchen, eyes wide as they fixed on him. He was holding a bowl of ramen, and the crash must’ve been due to one of their plastic cups, which was now on the floor. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, hands trembling slightly where he held the bowl. 

Hyunjin glanced back and forth between the two of them, panic quickly overcoming his face. “Sungie, I’m sorry, I wasn’t feeling very good and I thought you would be out later–”

“Why are you apologizing?” Jisung said, forcing a laugh. “You don’t have to ask my permission to have people over.”

Hyunjin frowned. “But–”

“I think I’ll head back out, though. We’re, uh, low on groceries. I, uh, came back for my wallet,” Jisung said, the words falling out of his mouth senselessly. 

“Your wallet’s in your pocket,” Hyunjin said slowly. “I thought you were with Jaemin?”

Jisung glared sharply at Hyunjin, unable to look anywhere else in the room. He was too aware of Minho’s gaze on him. “We’re not seeing each other anymore,” Jisung said casually. Then, in a rush of bravery, he added, “Turns out we’re both too in love with other people.” It was quiet, too quiet, and he would’ve thought he was the only one who’d heard it, if not for the whispered, “Sungie...” from Hyunjin, and the sharp intake of breath from Minho. 

Jisung shook his head, not allowing them to think about it more while he was here. “Groceries. Text me if you need anything.”

And then he was shutting the door behind him and leaning on it, back pressed against the wood like it was the only thing keeping him up. 

///

“Please, _please_ , talk to him,” Hyunjin urged. 

“No,” Jisung replied coldly. Ever since he’d admitted he was still in love with Minho, Hyunjin had been begging him to talk to the older. Just the thought of it made Jisung sick, and he already felt like he was on the verge of tears. “I won’t, Hyunjin. You have to understand why.”

“I know, I do understand Jisung, but you haven’t been around him recently, it’s like–it’s like a part of him is gone. He’s not himself.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jisung spat back. 

But he understood. Ever since Minho had left, he felt like he was on auto-pilot, just going through each day best he could. Minho had always brought out the best in him, understanding him even when no one else did. 

“Jisung, just please.”

He shook his head. “I already said no. Please let it go.” _Before I agree_. 

Hyunjin sighed, standing up and putting his shoes on. 

“Where are you going?”

“To Felix’s.”

///

Jisung was getting ready to go to bed when there was a hurried knock at his door. Inching out of bed and putting his glasses on, he shuffled down the narrow hallway to the door, wondering if Hyunjin forgot his keys. 

He opened the door, mouth gaping open when he realized it was Minho, not Hyunjin standing there. 

The older looked nervous–scared, even–eyes shining with tears and lips bitten red. His eyes took in Jisung, standing there with his hair fluffy and askew, sweatpants too long for his legs, and the tears spilled over his cheeks. He stumbled forward, arms coming up to wrap around his waist as he rested his forehead on Jisung’s shoulder. 

“Minho?” 

He missed being in his arms, but not like this. Not when he could feel his tears through his shirt and the way he was shaking against him.

Knowing he might regret it, Jisung asked him if he wanted to come in. Minho only looked a little hesitant before he nodded, eyes never leaving Jisung’s face, like he was trying to take in as much as he could while he could. 

Minho settled on the couch, and Jisung shuffled on his feet in front of him, too nervous to sit so close to him. “Uh–do you want something to drink?”

Minho just shook his head. 

“Right, uh...”

“I’m sorry, Sungie,” Minho whispered. “I never should’ve let you go without an explanation, or–”

“Why don’t you love me anymore?” Jisung said, cutting him off. He crossed his arms in front of him when Minho’s mouth fell open, taken aback. He felt suddenly small and vulnerable. “I mean...what did I do? Was I just–” his voice cracked, “was I not enough?”

Minho was on his feet in a second, coming forward to cradle Jisung’s face carefully. “I never said I didn’t love you anymore,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion. “Of course you’re enough, Jisung, never think otherwise. You were _always_ enough.”

Jisung shrugged off his hands, putting more distance between them. He couldn’t take hearing this, couldn’t stand having Minho so close when he’d left him. “Then _why_?”

Minho’s mouth clamped shut, and Jisung could see the indecision in his eyes. Disappointment filled him, and he didn’t know why he even bothered hoping he’d get answers. He took another step back from Minho. “I want you to leave,” he said, as calmly as he could handle. 

“Jisungie–”

“Leave!” 

Minho squeezed his eyes shut, more tears silently falling from them. “I can’t,” he whispered. 

“Really?” Jisung scoffed. “You did it just fine last time. Did it without a second glance.”

“You think that was easy, Jisung?” Minho said, voice raising in a mix of sadness and desperation. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I couldn’t look back at you because I knew the second I did, I would go back to you.”

“Would that have been so bad?” Jisung whispered, tightening his own hold on himself to make himself even smaller. 

“No, _no_ , Jisung,” Minho breathed. 

“Please just tell me why,” Jisung said, voice as quiet as he could make it without Minho not being able to hear it. 

Sadness flashed through Minho’s expression. He looked nervous. “I couldn’t make you happy, Jisung.”

Jisung’s head shot up to stare at him, shocked. “You what?”

Minho shook his head. “I was always busy. Every time I had to cancel a date, even when I promised I’d make it, you think I didn’t know you cried? I was hurting you, Jisung. And–and my dad was pressuring me to do more, and he’s never supported our relationship, and you didn’t deserve to deal with that.” His explanation came fast, like he had to put all the words out there as soon as possible, or he wouldn’t be able to at all. 

Jisung took in a shaky breath. “Don’t you think I should’ve been able to decide that for myself?”

Minho’s expression was pained, looking for all the world like he wanted to close the distance between them. “You weren’t happy anymore, Jisung.”

“And who are you to determine that?” Jisung shouted back, anger beginning to bubble in his stomach. “Who were you to leave me with no explanation? You don’t get to _do_ that, Minho!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Minho repeated, finally just risking it and walking forward to pull Jisung into him all over again. The apologies continued, this time whispered into Jisung’s collarbone like a secret. “I’m so sorry, love.”

Tears that he’d been fighting back for a long time filled his eyes, too. Slowly, he lifted his arms to wrap around Minho’s neck, hushing him. He wanted to tell him it was okay, but it wasn’t. 

“And when I saw you with Jaemin, you looked happier,” Minho admitted, pulling back to look in his eyes. “And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I thought–I thought you’d found happiness.”

Jisung shook his head vigorously. “How could you think that? He’s a great friend, but no one, no one, could ever make me happier than you did. No one could make me smile or laugh more. No one– _no one_ looks the way you do when you smile, like it could outshine the stars. I could never love anyone like I–like I love you.” 

His words hung in the air between them, and though he knew that Minho was aware he still loved him, he closed his eyes, too scared to see his reaction. 

Shaky hands cupped his face. “Sungie,” he whispered. The hands slid around under his jaw, then to his hair, then down his arms like he couldn’t stop touching Jisung. “Sungie,” he breathed, close to his ear so that the air fanned out over the side of Jisung’s face. Subconsciously, Jisung tilted his head to the side, trying to get closer. “ _Jisung_ , Jisungie, Sungie, I love you so much, I’m so sorry,” he repeated, again and again, like a prayer. He laid a kiss over one eye, then the other, then each cheek, then he stopped, hovering over Jisung’s lips. 

Jisung’s eyes fell closed. “Minho?” he whimpered, lip wobbling. 

“Yes?” Minho asked, and the tone in his voice made Jisung think that he would give him anything. 

“Please don’t leave me again,” he said, voice breaking as more tears fell down his face. 

Minho wiped the tears with his thumbs, pressing kisses to the trails they left behind. He shook his head quickly, desperately. “Never again,” he promised. He leaned forward, then stopped himself. “Is it–is it okay if I–?”

Jisung was nodding before he got the chance to even finish his question, reaching up to meet Minho’s lips with everything he had. Something clicked into place in his chest, and although he was still hurting, and he knew they’d have to work things out, it felt so right. They fell into the kiss so easily, like it had been mere minutes since there last one, not months. 

Minho’s hands held him by the waist, pulling him towards the couch. They collapsed onto it unceremoniously, Minho groaning in pain when Jisung landed on top of him ungracefully. But that did nothing to deter the smile on his face, the way he looked up at Jisung like he was his whole world. Jisung was giggling, fingers tracing Minho’s jaw delicately as he returned the same look before he pulled him back up to meet his lips once again. 

Everything was falling back into place. 

///

“Hey, Jisungie, Felix says hi–oh my God, my eyes!” Hyunjin screeched as he walked into their shared bedroom, dramatically covering his face. 

Jisung giggled, rolling his eyes as he burrowed deeper into Minho’s embrace. “Relax, Hyunjin. We’re literally wearing pants.”

Hyunjin peeked through his fingers, eyes falling on his two best friends smiling and holding each other and he, too, felt like everything was right in the world. 

He made a gagging sound. “Does this mean I have to put up with you two being gross again? Disgusting.” 

But he was smiling as the sound of two bright laughs followed him out of the room. 

///

“Baby, come here. I want you to listen to something,” Jisung said, pulling on his boyfriend’s arm until he was sitting on the couch next to him, as close as possible. 

Minho hummed happily as he leaned into Jisung, pressing a kiss to his hair. “What is it?”

Jisung was a little nervous–he always was when showing someone something he wrote, but this time it was worse. “A song,” he began, avoiding Minho’s eyes as he pressed play. “I’ve been working on it for a long time. I was finally able to finish it.” _Because of you,_ he added in his head. Maybe someday he would tell him that, but right now, he just wanted to listen. 

And as the melody he now knew by heart filled the room, he watched the love of his life hear it for the first time, lips stretching into a beautiful smile and eyes full of love. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i really hope you guys enjoyed this because i had fun writing it!!! feel free to imagine whatever song you want that jisung wrote at the end. i like to imagine it's something along the lines of the song this fic is named after. 
> 
> for those of you reading vertigo, there will be an update soon! it's in the works!!
> 
> i would also like to thank rach for always listening to my crazy au ideas (that half the time i only write, like, 1k of i'm so sorry)
> 
> please leave kudos and comments, it would make my day!!!
> 
> i hope everyone is doing awesome, i love you guys <33


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